House cleaning...

So, we're having some friends over this evening...not a fancy sit-down dinner or anything, just a few friends coming over for grilled meat and side dishes. My husband says we need to clean the house. That's fine, I'm up for that. While I was cleaning, I was thinking to myself...why do I hate cleaning so much?

I think the answer is in how I was raised. I don't remember my mom being a clean freak or anything, not that that would be bad, but I don't distinctly remember being told to dust, or wipe mirrors down. I would vacuum every once in a while, and obviously, do dishes, clean my room, that kind of thing. I think that's why I hate cleaning!

Some of my friends say they vacuum at least twice per week - sometimes three times! I'm lucky if I get the vacuum cleaner out once a month, or if we're having company! I feel like I'm constantly doing laundry (which I don't mind doing) and cleaning up after my 3 (no, 4) boys all day every day! The tile floors in our kitchen get a sweeping probably once every 2 weeks...and it needs it! It's not like it's clean, so I don't have to do it, it's dirty from the boys running in and out of the house with their shoes on, or my husband putting his boots on at the dining room table! But I don't have the energy or will power to do it more often! Then I bust my butt sweeping AND mopping all in one go.

Another thing is the bedding...I HATE changing the bedding! I do that more often than vacuuming, but it's still not as often as I've heard it needs to be done. And it's not like we don't have plenty of sets of sheets, I just don't want to take the time to strip the bed, wash it all, fold it (if I put a new set on the bed) or dress the bed again. It's heavy!! And the fitted sheet never goes easily on the mattress...why can't this just be a little easier??

I've actually looked online for a pre-made list telling me what chores need to be done around the house weekly. Dusting, scrubbing toilets, scrubbing the tile in the showers, mopping, cleaning windows...if I had a list it would be so much easier! I could mark off the things I've done, and maybe even reward myself when everything is complete! I feel like a kid who needs to be motivated to get the job done.

Now doing laundry is a different thing totally. Obviously it NEEDS to be done eventually, but I don't mind doing it at all! I'm actually pretty picky when it comes to laundry. It has to be folded just so. I could sit for a whole day and watch my favorite shows putting laundry in the washer, transferring it to the dryer, putting another load in the washer and folding what is already dry! I wish I could give this chore to someone else, but I just can't. Collin will do his clothes and the boys' clothes for that matter, but won't touch mine because he knows how paranoid I am! That's pretty funny...I distinctly remember my mom teaching us how to fold laundry...but then at the end of the day there would be a whole basket full of unmatched socks that we just dreaded to dig into. So that is one thing I learned from my mom and I don't mind doing...I actually think I like doing laundry! Who would've thought?

Just another day...

So here I sit in front of my computer at work. I can't tell you how many times I've searched the internet during my lunch break for a new job. That's pretty bad, huh?

I've worked here for 5+ years, but I don't see myself going anywhere. I only got through on year of college, so it's not like I have a degree or anything...what company will give out a high paying job to someone who doesn't have a degree? Sometimes I talk myself out of a new job opportunity because I'm too comfortable here. I know what I'm doing here and going out to the big world of jobs means that I would have to learn something new! (scary)

I love the location of my workplace now. It's in the same town as my kids' school, as well as where my littlest goes to daycare. What would happen if I got a job in downtown Minneapolis? What if one of the kids got sick at school and I wasn't there to pick them up right then and there? My husband said not to worry, that he would be able to take care of it. Why do I think only I can take care of the kids when they're sick? Who put that in my head that I'm responsible for all that stuff? Probably me.

I was a single mom for 3 years after my divorce. I lived with my parents for a year to help me get on my feet. I relied on them a lot during that year. Finally I got a job and was able to work evenings when they were home so I wouldn't have to pay for a babysitter. When we finally got a place of our own, it was nice, but it was hard also. New daycare for the boys, new commute to work, no one there to hear about my day or tell me everything's going to be alright. It was hard. It was damn hard and I did it on my own. I have to believe I did a good enough job. That time with them was so special - I never wanted to let them go. Even when their biological father was in the picture, it wasn't consistent and I didn't want to put them through another loss, so I told him that was enough.

Now when they get sick, or something happens at school, I'm usually the one to go get them, to comfort them. Sure, Collin can take care of them, but for some reason I feel like he can't do it as well as me. That's crazy...really, it is and I need to get over it!

So here I sit...writing my FIRST EVER blog entry...hoping to get some feelings out that I can't verbally. So here I sit in front of my computer at work.